Sister Teresa — Chapter 28

London: T. Fisher Unwin, 8 July 1901, pages 160-163, 1,252 words

XXVIII

It was with this argument that she sought to overcome Mother Mary Hilda when the Mothers met in council. Their council was held in the Mother’s own room after evening prayers, when no light burned anywhere, and the nuns and the canaries were asleep in their cells and cages. The Prioress began by saying that she had consulted Monsignor, and that he had said nothing would give him greater pleasure than to see Sister Teresa professed, but he left the ultimate decision entirely to them.

Mother Mary Hilda held the opinion of Monsignor in high esteem, but she did not withdraw her opposition, and she questioned the Prioress closely as to Monsignor’s precise words, and was manifestly relieved to hear that he thought on the subject of a nun’s vocation the nuns were the best judges. So she gained an advantage over the Prioress, but it was only momentary, for when she spoke of the shortness of Evelyn’s postulancy, laying stress on the fact that it had been broken by her journey to Rome, the Prioress said, —

‘But all that has been decided by the Bishop; we need not go into that again. No one has so much right to form an opinion of Evelyn’s vocation as you have, but I cannot forget that from the first your instinct was against her, and when that is so we are never convinced, I am afraid.’

'But, Mother, I am sorry if I seem to you stubborn.’

'Not stubborn, but I would hear you explain your reasons for thinking Sister Teresa has not a vocation, and Mother Philippa is most anxious to hear them too.’

Mother Philippa listened, thinking of her bed, and wondering why Mother Maty Hilda kept them up by refusing to agree with the Prioress.

Mother Hilda, with quiet obstinacy and determination, reminded them that they could hardly point to a case in which a novice had been elected who had been with them for so short a time as Sister Teresa.

'But we have known Teresa for a long time — for more than three years. Her thoughts have been inclining towards a religious life ever since we have known her. You do not deny her piety. Her religious fervour gives promise of the highest sanctity in the future; she is animated with the sincerest love of God.’

‘I have no doubt whatever on that point, nevertheless I find it difficult to believe that she will prove a satisfactory member of the community. She is quite different from any of us.’

‘I have heard that phrase very often, and confess it conveys no idea to my mind. We are all different from one another. Peter was not like Paul, nor was Catherine of Siena like Saint Teresa. We are anxious to know, Mother Hilda, what is your precise reason for thinking that Sister Teresa has not a vocation.’

‘You have set me a difficult task, Mother. It seems to me that her piety, although very genuine, does not penetrate much below the surface. A good deal of it seems to me incidental, and to be brought about by the great grief which she experienced at her father's death. I have noticed this too, that her piety does not stimulate others to piety but rather the reverse. Since she has been in the convent you will not deny that she has been a source of distraction to us all. We are always thinking of her, and talking of her when we can. Inquiries are always on foot concerning her. She is the one that all the visitors want to see. Our visitors are excellent people, no doubt; but they spend a great deal of time in the parlour, and they have to be waited on there, and the teas do not end till nearly six o clock. Now comes another matter on which I would not speak if speech could be avoided. It is a matter so delicate that I fear, whatever words I use, my words will misinterpret my meaning — what I want to say is that Teresa influences.us all. I would remind you that Sister Mary John and Veronica are absorbed in her influence, though I am sure they are not aware of it. But it would seem to me impossible not to notice it. Have you ever noticed it?' Mother Hilda said, appealing directly to the Prioress and Mother Philippa. Mother Philippa shook her head, and then confessed she had not the slightest notion of what Mother Mary Hilda meant.

The Prioress asked if she thought Sister Teresa had shown any undue vanity in the attentions which were paid to her.

'No, indeed; her humility is so striking that very often I feel that I may after all be misjudging her.’

'I confess I completely fail,' said Mother Philippa, 'to understand your objections to our visitors; without them we cannot live. They are our means of subsistence, and it was in the hope of attracting visitors...’

'I know, I know.’

And Mother Hilda said she was quite willing to refrain from voting, but this was not what the Prioress wished. Every nun must accept the responsibility. ‘And it would seem,' she said, ‘though I do not feel it myself, that very great responsibility attaches to Sister Teresa’s election.

'Dear Reverend Mother, I can only repeat that I think we should wait. Another year in the novitiate, perhaps six months, will prove whether her desire is a passing desire or a true vocation.’

'But our necessities!’

'Ah, Reverend Mother, our necessities should not influence us, surely.’

'Our necessities should not influence us either way. But they seem to influence you against her. Don't they?’

'Yes, I admit that they do.’

'Then, if you feel like that,' said Mother Philippa, waking from a light doze which had not prevented her from hearing the conversation, 'I think that you should abstain from voting.’

Instead of answering, Mother Hilda asked the Prioress for her reason for objecting to a slight delay.

‘If we accept Evelyn her salvation will be secured, and if we yield to your scruples we make ourselves responsible for all that may happen to her. I ask if you are prepared to see this house and garden confiscated. Although our order is very poor, some of us may find refuge in another convent. But many of us, the younger ones, would have to return to their homes, and there are our poor lay Sisters; what will become of them?'

'Our circumstances are very trying, I know, but I do not think we should allow them to influence us.’

‘But you have said,’ rejoined the Prioress, ‘that they do influence you against Teresa, whereas Mother Philippa and I can truthfully say that they do not influence us in her favour.’

On that the Prioress rose to her feet, and the other two nuns understood that the interview was at an end.

‘Dear Reverend Mother, I know how great your difficulties are,' said Mother Hilda, ‘and I am loth to oppose your wishes in anything. I know how wise you are — how much wiser than we — but however foolishly I may appear to be acting, you will understand that I cannot act differently, feeling as I do.’

‘I understand that, Mother Hilda. We must act according to our lights. And now we must go to bed; we are breaking all the rules of the house.’