Sister Teresa — Chapter 14

London: T. Fisher Unwin, 8 July 1901, pages 83-86, 1,283 words

XIV

There are hours of the day which are unknown to those who live in the world, and six o’clock in the morning was an hour unknown to Evelyn. It was at that hour she awaked from a shallow, restless sleep, and heard with a drowsy brain that she would be expected in chapel in half an hour. She rolled herself out of bed, and still only half conscious, she hurried through her simple dressing. Her small basin and water-jug seemed to her miserably insufficient, but her desire not to be late for chapel saved her from further reflection regarding excessive cleanliness.

The convent day began with half an hour for meditation,and this was just over when Evelyn entered the chapel. At half-past six there were morning prayers, followed by Prime and Tierce; at seven Mass and Exposition, and at a quarter to eight breakfast; and a breakfast of weak tea and bread and butter made Evelyn feel that before the end of the week she would be back in her Bayswater flat. But taking her purpose between her teeth, she determined not to yield so easily. She followed Mother Hilda and the novices to the novitiate, and tied on the blue apron that was given to her. Every novice was expected to make her own bed, and to tidy and sweep out her cell before she did any other work. They divided between them such work as dusting the novitiate and sweeping the stairs and passage, and keeping the Mother Mistress’s cell in cleanliness and order.

Evelyn had done plenty of housework in her younger days, but she seemed to have forgotten how to use a broom, and the making of her bed had exhausted her, and she felt more inclined to get into it than to follow the Mother Mistress down to Sext and None at nine o’clock. She managed, however, to overcome her weakness, and she and Sister Winifred and Sister Veronica preceded Mother Hilda in the cloister, where they joined the rest of the community. After Sext and None a pause came, and none too soon did it come for Evelyn, who felt she was giving way; and perceiving her condition the Mother Mistress asked her to come to the novitiate. Evelyn felt that to sit in a cheerful sunny room, with windows looking on to the garden, hearing the voice of the quiet nun speaking to her, was the pleasantest hour she could hope for.

'The centre of our life,' said Mother Hilda, 'is the perpetual adoration of the blessed Sacrament exposed on the altar. Our life is a life of expiation; we expiate by our prayers and our penances and our acts of adoration the many insults which are daily flung at our divine Lord by those who not only disobey His commandments but deny His very presence on our altars. To our prayers of expiation we add prayers of intercession; we pray for the many people in this country outside the faith who offend our Lord Jesus Christ more from ignorance than from malice. All our little acts of mortification are offered with this intention. From morning Mass until Benediction, our chapel, as you know, is never left empty for a single instant of the day; two silent watchers kneel before the blessed Sacrament, offering themselves in expiation of the sins of others. This watch before the blessed Sacrament is the chief duty laid upon the members of our community. Nothing is ever allowed to interfere with it. Unfailing punctuality is asked from everyone in being in the chapel at the moment her watch begins, and no excuse is accepted from those who fail in this respect. Our idea is that all through the day a ceaseless stream of supplication should mount to heaven, that not for a single instant should there be a break in the work of prayer. Our Sisters are taught to feel that, next to receiving Holy Communion, this hour of prayer and meditation in the presence of our Lord is the central factor in their spiritual life, the axis on which their spiritual progress revolves. If our numbers permitted it, we should have perpetual adoration by day and night, as in the mother house in France; but here the bishop only allows us to have Exposition once a month throughout the night, and all our Sisters look forward to this as their greatest privilege.’

'It is a very beautiful life, Mother Hilda; but it is hard to bear.’

'Only at first; you will bear it more and more easily as you realise its beauty. Once a week, in the novitiate, I give instructions to the novices on our rule and its object, and perhaps this will prove a help to you.’

'And when shall I take my watch?’

'I don’t think dear Mother has fixed your hour yet. She did not wish you to begin to-day; we must not overburden you with piety in the beginning. In any case, the novices are not allowed more than half an hour’s watch in the day — only the professed choir Sisters take an hour.’

Obedience, the Mother Mistress declared, was the beginning of the religious life, and Evelyn must bear in mind she was as a child in school, with nothing to teach and everything to learn.

'The experience of your past life,' said Mother Hilda, with a smile, 'which you may think entitles you to consideration, will probably only be a hindrance to you in the new life that you are beginning. I would beg you to put all the teaching of the world as far from your mind as possible, it will only confuse you. What we think wise, the world thinks foolish, and the wisdom of the world is to us a vanity.’

After the rule of obedience came the rule of silence, and that, too, had to be followed in what seemed to her a painfully literal sense. Silence from the saying of the De Profundis, after evening recreation, until after Mass the next morning!

‘Conversation is never allowed except at recreation, and all whispering in the passages and visits to each other's cells are forbidden. The novices,' Mother Hilda added, 'are not allowed to speak to any of the professed without special permission; but in your case the Mother Prioress has decided that an exception will be made in favour of Sister Mary John, as you and she will of course have music to discuss; but you must keep the rules strictly as regards everyone else.’

‘Mayn’t I even speak to Mother Philippa?’

‘Not unless Mother Philippa first speaks to you.’

Evelyn had not expected this complete interruption of all human intercourse, not only from the outside world, but even from those who were actually within the walls of the convent.

Perhaps Mother Hilda saw what was passing in her mind, and feeling that her new postulant had received as much instruction as she could absorb in one day, she looked at her watch, remarking that she expected Sister Winifred and Sister Veronica for their Latin lesson; and a few minutes after the two novices appeared, each with her breviary in her hand.

The Latin lesson consisted mainly of explanation of the offices for the day, and reading aloud for practice and pronunciation, and the translation of one or two of the psalms. Evelyn applied herself to the lesson which Mother Hilda made interesting by her enthusiasm for the subject and her intimate knowledge of all that the breviary contains; and the books were only closed when the Angelus rang at twelve o’clock.